Why you dirty rat…
April 25th, 2010
The screen glared back at him with contempt. Taunting him with it’s blankness, challenging him to make use of the thousands, no millions, of words available to him at the tips of his fingers, all he had to do was arrange the letters in the correct order.
“Come on,” said the laptop, “just hit the keys, let’s see what you’ve got.” (Although in truth WT suspected that the screen wasn’t actually talking to him, but who knows…)
He sat there for a while, staring blankly at the blank screen. Unwavering in his resolve to show the lappie who was boss, he strained his brain muscle to the point of migraine, then it came to him. An epiphany in the midst of severe writer’s block.
With elation rising in him for having come up with what he considered to be the pinnacle of his literary achievements do date, WT was filled with excitement as he placed his fingers ever so gently on the keyboard and tapped the following reply to the computer’s taunts…
…Fuck you.
The reply was both stunning in its eloquence and awe inspiring in its structure.
Categories: Non Blogging
Man of few words….you are!
Ha!!
Yep
Haha! Brilliant!
That’s what I was thinking.
Your computer talks to you too? How many other objects around your house? What about just voices out of the blue which don’t represent any objects? Do you often find yourself talking to…yourself? Why do I ask? Er…no reason. No reason at all. Just curious.
Peter, I love you.
At least we have one thing in common.
I think this laptop has an attitude problem—this is the same one that would not leave the garage and go to the grocery store, right??? You thought all your wife had to do was put the keys in the ignition, shift it into gear, and take the familiar route to the store? But she was unable to make the “cute little convertable laptop” cooperate–right???
Hmm…Now you are sitting there having a stare down, and apparently a verbal war with the same machine!!! And it has reduced you to cautiously tapping out SEVEN LETTERS and declaring VICTORY?!?!! Not that they aren’t seven of my very favorite letters, when strung together in that order….
Maybe that convertable needs a good WAX job!!!!!
Hey that’s not a bad idea, I think it would look cute with a Brazilian…
As usual I have no words of my own but maybe I can point you in a couple of directions for help. Maybe you need to get more ketchup into your diet per the Prairie Home Ketchup Advisory Board–check it out. Or maybe you need an forensic attitude adjustment mentor. Check out Mike (“The Champagne is flat and the caviar has run out–willl it never end?”) Nichols. Good night and good luck.
We don’t have ketchup in Oz, or catsup either for that matter, but champagne I can do.
A post with words in it WT (even if a couple of them were Fuck You) now that’s progress, keep up the good work
Oh I often say fuck you to the appliances around here. Particularly to the computer. I relate.
Now I am at a loss for words. But you made me laugh. Again.
If only we were 30 years younger.. it would be prophetic!!!!
Classic WT
Or you could drag it out to: I saith unto thee, “Fucketh Thou!”
I was just wondering as I read this. Does your wife read your blog? My hubby doesn’t read mine. He’d probably rather eat glass. Just curious.
Paraphrasing your day planner just doesn’t seem quite kosher…oh, wait, you’re not Jewish, are you? Carry on.
a blessed flash of insight!
or is it out-sight? hummmm
You’re a genius. I am in awe.
My two favorite words.
Okay – I’ll try this again….
I’m leaving a comment about the Lord of the Rings montage. Is it sad that I absolutely LOVED the entire thing? I laughed. Thanks.
ooooh, Peter said a potty word!!!