Meanwhile, back at the mental illness…
February 14th, 2010
Sorry about that, I got distracted by other things (one of the side-effects of the medication is the suppression of many of my compulsions, for example…sitting at the computer all day). So, where was I? Oh yeah, the epiphany…
Somehow through the fog, the theory that this was, in fact, a chemical problem began to emerge. As it happened, WT had some anti-depressants than MDW had given him some months ago; she had mentioned to her doctor that she always felt tired, and he diagnosed depression and prescribed Xydep (Zoloft for the Americans out there), but as it turned out, she actually was tired (exhausted actually) from long hours and changes of Ministers (long story).
WT now decided that if it was, in fact, chemical, then maybe the Xydep might help. He was, however, a bit dubious, having taken one some six months prior, with the only effect being an overwhelming feeling of nausea for about 18 hours (though strangely, he never actually barfed), so he never took any more. But as he was desperate in the knowledge that he had spiralled out of control over the past two months or so, he decided to try again.
From the very first pill there was a big difference! Whereas up until now WT had been in an impenetrable fog; completely devoid of clarity, motivation, or hope…with his ingestion of the miracle pill, WT was in an impenetrable fog, completely devoid of clarity, motivation, or hope, but at least the constant dry retching helped take his mind off his predicament.
The second day was a little better, while there was still the constant urge to barf, it didn’t seem as bad as the day before. There third day was even more tolerable, though there seemed to be a constant constriction of the neck muscles. On the fourth day, something unusual happened, fog seemed to lift ever so slightly. By the fifth day the fog had lifted completely and WT felt cleared headed for the first time in months. The rest iof the first week went pretty much the same way, with little improvements daily.
About halfway through the second week WT began to feel positively positive, and to his amazement, he no longer had constant food cravings, in fact he had been eating properly for the past few days, but he hadn’t really noticed it. Around the third week, WT realised that he hadn’t felt this good since his late twenties or early thirties. He was very pleased with this new development.
As he only had a week’s supply of wonder drug, he made an appointment to see the doctor and tell him what had been going on. The good doc was very understanding and agreed completely with my diagnosis, he also explained that when starting on anti-depressants, you only took half doses for the first month as they can make you feel nauseous…d’oh!
I have two (medical) idiosyncrasies, firstly when I do get something wrong it’s usually pretty intense (like the worst case of exploded capillaries that the ophthalmologist had every seen, followed by the highest BP the guy in charge of Emergency had ever seen on someone who is still alive, followed by the highest triglyceride levels that the nephrologist had ever seen). The second thing that totally baffles the experts is how quickly and how effectively my body makes use of medication. So that’s probably why the inmprovemen in trhis case was so dramatic.
So there you have it, what was once broken is now fixed, and I’ve stayed the same since last October, in fact I’ve even lost some weight, and MDW is beginning to like me again.
**I haven’t proofread this post (I’ve just run the spellcheck), so it may be a bit hard to decipher in some places, but I’ve kept you waiting long enough.
Categories: Anecdotes
Welcome back. It’s nice to read that things have been looking up for you. I’m glad you hung in there and had the courage to recognize what was going on and do something about it. I’m happy to hear you’re on the mend!
Thanks Jen.
Dear Willowtree. Yay! I’m glad the Zoloft did the trick.
Me too.
Sob! YDW might like you, but I like the WT I’ve known the last 3 1/2 years, not a sunny, positive WT ;)
I am happy for you, really. Should try this miracle drug myself. Even with things in my life now better than ever, the heavy fog still hangs around.
Give it a try, you’ve got nothing to lose. (I kinda liked the old me too)
Thanks for the rest of the story. I am glad that the medicine worked for you and that you had the perseverance to make it through the negative physical symptoms.
Take care. Stay well.
Thanks Molly.
Well, I suppose suppressing compulsions and actually living life (as in away from the computer or IRL) is an acceptable excuse for keeping us waiting. I’m so glad to hear the rest of the story, though, especially since it has a happy outcome. Hooray for happy beginnings!
The compulsions thing is an added bonus.
I’m happy to see you back and feeling better!
Thanks TS.
Glad it has done the trick for you. Doesn’t always work for everyone but good to hear it’s helping you.
Yeah, I’m lucky that way.
Peter, although we talked of some of this when I saw you in November 09 I had no idea that it was so recent or so serious, I’m sorry about that lack of perception but ever so pleased to read that you are now BETTER???
Once again, get in touch if there is anything I can help with… want a chauffeur for a round Australia trip… or something simple like that??
Actually Pete, you were here when the story was still unfolding.
I’ve been staring at my own bottle of Zoloft since last Friday. The doc wants me to take it for the overwhelming anxiety I’ve been experiencing. For now, the xanax is working and the Zoloft continues to be ignored. Your story gives me hope, and maybe a little bravery. Perhaps I’ll give a half tab a day a spin for awhile.
I’m happy for you that you’re feeling better.
As you are a nurse, I won’t even attempt to get technical, however I will say that xanax is a benzodiazepine, whereas zoloft is a select serotonin re-uptake inhibitor, so it’s possible you could get a different (and possibly better) result. Though I still think that a change of jobs is your best option.
best wishes for your new found happiness.
take care
Ribbon
Thanks Ribbon.
that stuff is a miracle. zoloft helped my father so much. (i’ll never forget his sister grabbing me by both shoulders and saying, why didn’t he discover this stuff fifty years ago???
i bet MDW liked you all along. we sure did.
I’ll take that bet!
I am so glad that you are back to being you, Peter. Granted, it’s not a you that most of us knew but that’s ok, we’ll just get to know the new you now.
Welcome back.
Me too.
Well, I’m not YDW, but…I liked ya all along. Bunches, actually. So glad you’re feeling so much better.
Thanks Kim, right back atcha
excellent news mon ami!
It looks like you already have!!
I am sorry that drugs were the answer, but I am very happy they are woking for you and that you are on the mend! xoxo
I am so glad you found what would make you feel better, and it worked straight off—-I am glad you feel so much better now, and that the doctor did not give you any fuss!!!
Who wrote your spellcheck program though??? “inmprovemen” in “trhis” hopefully that means you will be much more forgiving of me!
Fuck you! (hmmm, the medication seems to losing some of it’s effect)
It’s a good thing. (I would trademark that response, but I think Martha Stewart beat me to it.)
You’re response gives me. hope.
Green meat gives me diarrhoea.
Hey – I’m so happy for you that you’re coming out the other end of the dark side but a word of caution. When you’re feeling like yourself again, don’t stop the medication. It’s a tragic mistake people often make, and then they go through the Hell all over again. Eat well – that is, real food, not processed, hormone and antibiotic soaked crap, mostly vegetables, get exercise, listen to your body and stay in touch with your doctor. I enjoy your blog.
Yeah, I’ve heard that about abruptly stopping, but I have to take other medication everyday, so I just add it to the mix and forget about it. In other words, I plan to continue indefinitely.
Whew. Good story. Great ending.
And from personal experience I know that when your head is in the right place, blogging for fun takes a back seat to real life.
SO. I still miss your posts, but when they’re further apart because WT is LIVING LIFE… then I can live with it. And even say a little
(yay!) for you from Texas. So glad you’re feeling better, WT.
Thanks Wendy.
Ha Ha Ha!!!!! I’d say that your comment means you are doing GREAT!!!! All those NICE comments had me worried for a while that maybe your dose was off!!! Now I know the spunk is still there too, you’re just doing really great!!! That is what I wanted to hear!!!!
I’m really glad!!! I sure missed you, and was very worried for a while there!
Hang in there. You aint the only one going thru similar situations… isolated rural-Aussie male battling with depression. Drop me a line if you ever feel you need to, any time, any day.
I’m so glad for you.
Congrats, WT. As a veteran of the depression wars I know it’ can be really hard to get back to a good place. “Making Life Better Through Chemistry”– I’m a firm believer.
As someone who has been through that darkness and knows exactly what you are talking about, I salute you! I salute you that you were able to recognize and respond in a positive way. I, too, take Z. on a daily basis…and will have to do so for the rest of my life. It is something I have come to accept and embrace. Based on the alternative. All good thoughts comin’ your way WT. Be well…my friend!
pwew. that was a clif-hanger, WT, and I’m really really really glad the zoloft did the trick. Shocked at how quickly it worked, but DELIGHTED.
It saved me to play another day too. I fought taking it, but it was such a relief once I did.
glad glad glad you’re better.
You? Positively positive?? That’s awesome!
So happy you’re feeling better.
BOO! :) Remember me?
Ok so I blogged…happy? sometimes no news is good news!
I like this part !!!